Sunday, 12 December 2010

Goodbye Sleeping Pattern

Its nearly 7am, and I'm only just getting sleepy. Work shifting my hours around has gone full effect on me now and my sleeping pattern has changed. It's actually took longer than I thought, I normally adapt to different amounts of sleep pretty quickly.

But its done now, just in time for the warmer weather to come and put me back into normal working hours and force me into trying to change back my sleeping pattern. oh. the. joys.

Ive been having some pretty severe mood swings recently. Normally I am the annoying guy in the corner that's always got a smile on his face and genuinely believes things will just work out for the best and if they don't, whats the point in moping around and being all pissy about it? It gets you no further ahead and it takes up so much energy. But this week I have been up and down like crazy, going from really bubbly and just my normal self, to utterly crappy, paranoid and negative about nearly all situations in my life.

I really cant put my finger on whats triggered it. Maybe the lack of sleep / mixed up sleeping pattern is affecting me more than normal. I have a feeling I'm not getting enough sunlight in my day, I get in from work at about 5am, stay up until around 7 then go to bed and wake up at about 2/3 pm, so I only see about an hour of light a day :/

Trying to force it though; On a happier note, I now have a title for my book.

The Korekutā 

I means Collector, in Japanese.
I'm not exactly writing the book at the minute, I'm simply jotting down all the ideas I get, any characters I think up and how characters may link up etc. I'm aiming to start writing at the beginning of next year, only a few weeks away so I have lots to do. But I think if I start then and aim to be done by my birthday / maybe a month after. That's gives me 4/5 months to get it done.

It really is the only thing keeping me smiling at the minute.

Utterly selfishly, I feel as if I spend my time trying to cheer people up and make them smile and I never really get that returned. Maybe because I'm happy 90% of the time, people don't think I ever get down. I don't know, just really little things are seeming massive to me at the minute.

I need the new year and to forget a lot of this one.

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